Addiction

This one’s for you

Sitting outside dreaming of a better day, all I smell is your breath on me. Last night. What happened last night? The stench of fermented grapes still on my tongue, I remember vaguely, I see pictures of sensual sexuality. Our bodies twisted into each other, my head a hazy drunk, but my heart swimming in fear. We move around I feel you lips in the dark, your soft caramel skin against mine and I touch your face. Deeper and deeper I sink into you and your presence once again make me feel safe… I sleep

When morning awakes I remember the tragedy, I see in my minds eye, your freckled face towered over me, I see my head hitting the floor and my chest feels like it has been ripped out with the kicks I receive from you… my mouth is bleeding, but mercy is not a word you understand. I bleed, I cry… you carry on.

I love the smell of your sweat and the way the sun shines on your almost see through skin, its like a veil on your beauty and makes the mystery of you even more elusive. Your towering figure and insight builds a world I want to live in. Your words are everything and I receive them with love and an open heart. You move around the room and my heart dances.

My mind reminds me of the time you shared your infidelities, how you use to tell me of every harlot you touched and how they were better than me. How I cried and you intensified your hatred. I remember how you told me I was nothing but a common whore.

I lived past it, I forgave you…

Today, you knock on my door and I see a gentler you, towering over me. I love the way you smell, the way your oval eyes dart around when you talk. You touch me… it feels natural; ok in fact, it feels like I never left… you kiss me and I love it. You hold me and I want more. Time passes … visions of love making, jawbreaking… you grow inside me.

You are my addiction